I know you may not know it, but one day this pain you will remember. It's hard for you to understand now but because of it you will be a better man. You will remember all the missed birthdays, all the missed Christmas mornings. You will remember the times you looked at the little boys in the park playing basketball with their dads. And because it hurts now it will propel you to be a good man. I see it in you now. How compassionate you are to others. How friendly you are and always wanting to make sure that everyone gets a turn. For you have known the struggle of life not being fair and in your own little world you try every day to make it better for the next person. Even though the person you have missed the most left you waiting and waiting and waiting. I've seen you process this struggle of balancing sadness and glee; of wanting to be angry and yet yearning so much for just a call. I've seen you shrug it off willing to accept the things you can not change and yet still be the bubbly effervescent you that only you can be. Don't ever change, Son. One day you will be a greater man than your father ever was. I hope that you get to have the relationship that you dream of with him. But until then, you have so many people that love you. And even though I may not be able to put you on my shoulders to dunk a basketball or throw a perfect football pass from thirty yards away; I'll never stop trying. I'll never stop watching WWE wrestling matches with you. I'll never stop singing Bruno Mars's songs with you. And I will never ever leave you or stop loving you.